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TEXAS UNDERGROUND ARMORY MISSION STATEMENT
At Texas Underground Armory, our mission is to empower and unite our community through a commitment to excellence in firearms education, customer-centric service, and unwavering hospitality. We strive to create an inclusive environment where passion for the Second Amendment is nurtured, safety and responsibility are paramount, and every individual’s journey to self-reliance and protection is supported. We are dedicated to fostering a sense of belonging and growth, ensuring that every member of our community feels valued, informed, and confident in their pursuit of firearms expertise and personal defense. Our goal is to be more than a destination for firearms; we aim to be a cornerstone of a community where trust, knowledge, and camaraderie thrive.
Our Vision of Success at Texas Underground Armory
Texas Underground Armory Goals
Texas Underground Armory Values
Humble:
- Provide Exceptional Customer Service: We emphasize humility through personalized attention, respecting each customer’s unique needs and experience level.
- Foster a Safe and Welcoming Environment: Our commitment is to demonstrate humility by creating an inclusive atmosphere where everyone feels valued and supported.
- Uphold Ethical and Legal Standards: We reflect humility in adhering to laws and ethical practices, showing respect for the industry and community.
Hungry:
- Pursuit of Excellence: We constantly strive for excellence in every aspect of our business, from customer service to product offerings, setting high standards and continuously working to exceed them.
- Innovative Marketing and Promotion: We show eagerness in adopting innovative marketing strategies to reach new customers and markets, leveraging digital marketing, social media platforms, and community outreach.
- Expanding Services: Our ‘hungry’ spirit drives us to explore opportunities for expanding our range of services, including new training programs, advanced shooting courses, and specialized firearm workshops.
- Seeking Customer Feedback: Actively seeking and valuing customer feedback, we continuously refine our services and product offerings.
- Building Strategic Partnerships: We look for opportunities to form strategic partnerships with other businesses, organizations, or influencers in the firearms and outdoor industries.
- Adapting to Industry Changes: Staying hungry for knowledge about industry changes and trends, we remain agile in adapting our business model.
- Community and Social Responsibility: Our commitment to community service and social responsibility initiatives reflects our hunger to make a positive societal impact.
- Personal and Team Development: We encourage personal and professional development within our team, showing a commitment to excellence and a desire to bring the best to our customers.
Smart:
- Identifying Value: We demonstrate acumen in recognizing and capitalizing on what brings the most value to our customers, smartly curating our selection of products and services.
- Emotional Intelligence in Service: Our team is adept in emotional intelligence, capable of understanding and responding to customer emotions, building strong relationships, and enhancing satisfaction.
- Strategic Community Engagement: We engage with the community in ways that add value to both the community and our business, smartly identifying partnership opportunities and community needs.
- Innovative Experience Creation: Using a smart approach, we create unique, enjoyable experiences for customers through our range activities, cigar speakeasy, or educational programs.
- Create a Fun and Enjoyable Experience: We illustrate a passion for creating memorable and enjoyable experiences for both customers and staff.
Introducing, BRAVO
So, Just Who Is BRAVO?
In the heart of Texas Underground Armory, where the spirit of resilience, camaraderie, and empowerment thrives, there exists a figure that encapsulates the very essence of the team and the community they serve. This figure is none other than Bravo, the fictional mascot who stands as a symbol of the Texas spirit and the embodiment of all that Team Underground represents.
The Legend of Bravo:
Bravo, more than just a mascot, is a legend woven into the fabric of Texas Underground Armory’s identity. Some whisper that he is the living model of John “UTAH” Logsdon’s highest ideals, while others believe he is the personification of the indomitable Texas spirit – courageous, steadfast, and full of heart.
The Mystique of Bravo:
Bravo is a figure shrouded in mystique, a guardian of the values and principles that define Team Underground. He is a symbol of unity, standing for the diverse yet harmonious blend of personalities and skills within the team. In his presence, the ethos of Texas Underground Armory comes alive – a commitment to excellence, a dedication to community, and a celebration of the Second Amendment.
Bravo’s Essence:
- Strength and Resilience: Bravo embodies the strength and resilience that is essential in the world of firearms and self-defense. He represents the unwavering spirit required to uphold safety, responsibility, and skill.
- Guidance and Wisdom: Like a wise sage, Bravo imparts the wisdom of the ages, guiding customers and team members alike through their journey of discovery and growth in the world of firearms.
- Community and Belonging: Bravo is the heart of the community, symbolizing the bond that unites Team Underground and their patrons. He represents a sense of belonging, where every individual is valued and supported.
Bravo’s Role in Team Underground:
In every aspect of Texas Underground Armory, Bravo’s influence is felt. He is there in the meticulous planning of UTAH, the creative strategies of IRIS, the joyful craftsmanship of TBAR, the holistic approach of HAY DAY, the organizational prowess of SUNSHINE, the disciplined support of WEDGE, the youthful vigor of FIG JAM, the skilled artistry of DIRTY Q, and the customer-centric focus of MIRACLE.
The Spirit of Texas and Beyond:
Bravo is a beacon of the Texas spirit, but his influence extends beyond geographical boundaries. He is a universal symbol of empowerment, responsibility, and the joy of belonging to a community that shares a common passion and purpose.
The Legacy of Bravo:
As the fictional mascot and emblem of Texas Underground Armory, Bravo’s legacy is intertwined with the identity of the team and the community they serve. He is a reminder that in the pursuit of protecting oneself and loved ones, there is also room for growth, learning, and enjoyment. In his larger-than-life presence, Bravo encapsulates the essence of Team Underground – a group of individuals united by a common goal, driven by shared values, and dedicated to serving their community with integrity, expertise, and an unwavering commitment to the Second Amendment.
In the world of Texas Underground Armory, Bravo stands as a symbol of all that is admirable and aspirational, a constant reminder of the team’s mission and the spirit they embody. He is more than a mascot; he is the heart and soul of Team Underground, inspiring all who cross his path.
Team Underground
Coming Together
The story of how “Team Underground” came to be is as varied as the members themselves, each drawn to Jestlandia for different reasons, yet bound by a common purpose. It began with John “UTAH” Logsdon, the meticulous and disciplined leader, whose vision for a team that combined skill with humor and precision with playfulness laid the foundation for what would become an extraordinary assembly.
Next to join was Ryan “IRIS” Coperude, the second-in-command, whose creative yet sometimes chaotic approach to logistics and strategy provided a perfect counterbalance to UTAH’s structured leadership. His flair for the unorthodox became a driving force in shaping the team’s unique identity.
Victor “TBAR” Lara, the gunsmith and jester, with his incredible craftsmanship and infectious humor, brought a sense of joy and light-heartedness to the team, proving that laughter could be a powerful ally even in the most challenging situations.
Caitlyn “SUNSHINE” Williams, the mild-mannered yet surprisingly bold young member, provided the team with her impeccable organizational skills and her ability to bring light to any situation, no matter how daunting.
Richard “WEDGE” Carrizales, the unflappable and disciplined backbone of the team, ensured that every task, no matter how complex or menial, was carried out with precision and dedication.
Brandon “FIG JAM” Griffin, the confident yet learning young apprentice, brought his enthusiasm and eagerness to grow, reminding the team of the value of persistence and the importance of nurturing potential.
Lastly, Bishop “DIRTY Q” Ortiz, initially an enthusiastic outsider, proved his worth with his exceptional skills in designing and manufacturing arms and armor, turning his persistence into an indispensable asset for the team.
Together, these individuals formed “Team Underground,” a group that was more than just a collection of talents. They were a family, united not just by their roles but by a shared spirit of camaraderie, resilience, and a relentless pursuit of excellence blended with a healthy dose of humor and eccentricity. Each member, with their distinct background and personality, contributed to the rich tapestry of Jestlandia’s Mock Brigade, making it not just a formidable force but a symbol of unity in diversity.
As the introductory chapter of their individual stories, the tale of how they came together set the stage for the adventures and achievements that would define “Team Underground” – a team that was as unconventional as it was extraordinary, a true embodiment of the spirit of Jestlandia. Below are their stories. Each as different as them, but together they are “Team Underground”.
At the core of Team Underground:
The stories, the lore, the legends
John L. aka "UTAH"
The Legend of "UTAH"
The Legend of “UTAH”
In the annals of the mythical Battle of Guffaws Gulch, a tale is told of a stern and unyielding general, John “UTAH” Logsdon. This was a peculiar battle, not of violence, but of wits and humor, fought in the whimsical land of Jestlandia.
General Logsdon, renowned for his meticulous planning and strict discipline, led the 21st Mock Brigade, a unit famous for its precision and orderliness in a war where the unexpected was the norm. His soldiers were the best-dressed, the most punctual, and their barracks were so clean you could eat off the floors. John was respected, but his serious demeanor in a land of jesters earned him the nickname “UTAH” – Up Tight A$$ Hole.
The turning point came during the infamous ‘Great Pillow Siege’. General Logsdon’s brigade was tasked with defending the Feather Fortress, a stronghold vital for its strategic location and its stockpiles of whoopee cushions and rubber chickens. The enemy, known for their slapstick tactics, launched a surprise midnight attack with an arsenal of custard pies and tickle feathers.
Amid the chaos, something unexpected happened to General “UTAH.” As a custard pie narrowly missed his head, he did something no one had ever seen before – he chuckled. The sight of the unflappable General laughing amidst a rain of pies and feathers was so unexpected that it stunned both sides into a momentary silence. Inspired by their leader’s rare display of humor, the 21st Mock Brigade rallied, using their impeccable coordination to turn the tide with an expertly executed counter-attack of rubber chickens and strategic whoopee cushion placements.
The Battle of Guffaws Gulch ended not with a bang, but with laughter, as both sides appreciated the absurdity of their skirmish. From that day on, “UTAH” became a legend, a symbol of unwavering standards who could still appreciate a good laugh, even in the midst of a mock war. His call sign was spoken with respect and a twinkle of mirth, a reminder that even the most up-tight among us have a humorous side just waiting for the right pie to unleash it.
Ryan C. aka "IRIS"
The Epic Tale of "IRIS"
In the fabled land of Jestlandia, during the same era as General “UTAH,” there was a renowned figure known for his unique approach to leadership – Ryan “IRIS” Coperude, the charismatic and slightly unpredictable COO of the Mock Brigade’s logistics division.
Ryan’s tale began when he was unexpectedly promoted to the position of COO, surprising many due to his notorious penchant for creative, albeit sometimes haphazard, decision-making. His unorthodox methods often led to amusing mishaps, such as the time he accidentally ordered a thousand left-handed swords for a predominantly right-handed army. It was these kinds of endearing blunders that earned him the affectionate call sign “IRIS” – I Require Intense Supervision.
Despite the playful jests at his expense, Ryan had an uncanny ability to turn even the most chaotic situations to his advantage. During the renowned Battle of Chuckles Pass, a critical supply line was compromised, threatening to leave the troops without their essential supplies of joke books and trick arrows. In a stroke of genius, Ryan leveraged his seemingly erratic decisions to create a decoy convoy, baffling the enemy with a parade of mismatched wagons, each more bizarrely laden than the last – from wagons filled with rubber ducks to carriages blaring comical tunes.
The enemy, utterly confused by this spectacle, focused their efforts on deciphering the riddle of the peculiar convoy, allowing the real supplies to reach the troops undetected. The Mock Brigade celebrated Ryan’s unconventional tactics, which turned a potential disaster into a triumph. His reputation as a master of controlled chaos was solidified, and the phrase “pulling an IRIS” became synonymous with turning a blunder into a brilliant success.
From that day forward, Ryan “IRIS” Coperude was not just seen as the second-in-command who required intense supervision, but as a strategic genius who could find order in disorder, laughter in confusion, and success in the most unexpected ways. His story became a beloved part of Jestlandia’s lore, a testament to the idea that sometimes the most unconventional methods lead to the most memorable victories.
Victor L. aka "TBAR"
The Saga of "TBAR"
In the heart of Jestlandia, within the bustling workshops of the Mock Brigade, worked a gunsmith known as much for his sharp wit as for his craftsmanship – Victor “TBAR” Lara. His call sign, a humorous nod to his unconventional ideas and jokes, became a badge of honor among the troops.
Victor’s legend began during the preparation for the grand Skirmish of Smirks, a battle where humor was as important as strategy. As the official gunsmith, Victor was responsible for arming the brigade with weapons befitting a war of wits. He took to the task with his usual flair, crafting armaments that were as whimsical as they were effective – from tickle-trigger muskets to rifles that shot streams of confetti.
His workshop was a wonderland of laughter and ingenuity, where every creation was infused with a joke. One of his most famous inventions was the ‘Guffaw Gun’, a blunderbuss that, upon firing, released a cloud of colorful smoke and hysterical laughter, disorienting the enemy and boosting the morale of the Mock Brigade.
The pinnacle of Victor’s ingenuity came during the Skirmish of Smirks itself. The enemy, having heard of Victor’s bizarre weaponry, prepared themselves for all manner of strange assaults. However, Victor had a surprise up his sleeve. Amidst the mock battle, he unveiled his masterpiece – a cannon that, instead of firing traditional cannonballs, launched giant rubber balls that bounced unpredictably, causing both sides to erupt in laughter and momentarily forget the skirmish in a shared moment of hilarity.
Victor’s reputation as “TBAR” was solidified not only for his unorthodox weapon designs but also for his ability to bring joy and levity to the battlefield. His presence reminded everyone that even in the midst of conflict, there’s a place for laughter and light-heartedness. His story became a beloved chapter in the lore of Jestlandia, where his title “That Boy Ain’t Right” was a testament to his unique approach to life and war – turning every moment, no matter how serious, into an opportunity for joy and humor.
Caitlyn W. aka "SUNSHINE"
The Chronicle of "SUNSHINE"
In the heart of Jestlandia’s operations, amidst the hustle and bustle of planning mock battles and organizing grand events, worked a young and amiable lady named Caitlyn “SUNSHINE” Williams. Known for her gentle demeanor and her ability to handle a myriad of tasks with grace, Caitlyn was the Mock Brigade’s unsung hero, adeptly managing everything from sales to regulatory documentation.
The story of how she came to be known as “SUNSHINE” is a tale told with a mix of amusement and admiration among the troops. Despite her typically reserved nature, Caitlyn once surprised everyone with an uncharacteristically bold proclamation on social media. In a moment of spirited exuberance, she declared herself a “F’ing Ray of Sunshine,” a statement that contrasted starkly with her usual mild-mannered self. This unexpected outburst, far from her normal behavior, left her comrades both stunned and amused, and thus, her call sign “SUNSHINE” was born.
Caitlyn’s defining moment in Jestlandia came during the legendary ‘Great Paperwork Pandemonium,’ a chaotic period when the brigade’s documents, plans, and inventories were in disarray due to a mischievous prank by the rival jesters. It was a test that could make or break the morale of the troops. Stepping into the fray, “SUNSHINE” showcased her extraordinary organizational skills, turning what seemed like an insurmountable mess into a well-oiled machine of efficiency.
Her calm and methodical approach, coupled with her unexpected fiery spirit, inspired her fellow soldiers. She navigated through the sea of paperwork, sales records, and inventory lists with a sunny disposition that belied the gravity of the situation. In the end, not only did she restore order, but she also managed to implement new systems that made the brigade more efficient than ever.
From that day on, Caitlyn “SUNSHINE” Williams was no longer just the Mock Brigade’s versatile assistant; she was a beacon of hope and reliability, a true ‘ray of sunshine’ in the midst of chaos. Her call sign became synonymous with her ability to bring light to any situation, no matter how daunting, and her story was a reminder that even the quietest among us can have a moment of bold brilliance that inspires everyone around.
Richard C. aka "WEDGE"
The Legend of "WEDGE"
In the ranks of Jestlandia’s Mock Brigade, Richard “WEDGE” Carrizales stood as a pillar of strength and reliability. His call sign, “WEDGE,” was a testament to his simple yet indispensable nature, much like the tool that can hold together or split apart the toughest of materials.
Richard’s tale is one of unwavering duty and discipline. In a land where chaos and humor were the norms, “WEDGE” was the embodiment of order and efficiency. His noble military bearing and unflappable demeanor made him the go-to person for the most challenging tasks, no matter how daunting or, at times, peculiar they were.
The story of “WEDGE” became legendary during the fabled ‘Operation Jester’s Maze,’ a complex mock mission designed to test the strategic and logistical acumen of the brigade. The operation involved navigating a labyrinth filled with traps, puzzles, and distractions, each more baffling than the last. It was an exercise that required not just physical prowess but also mental agility.
While others were flustered by the maze’s bewildering challenges, Richard approached each task with his characteristic calm and methodical precision. Whether it was deciphering cryptic clues, reorganizing disordered supplies, or maintaining order among the ranks, “WEDGE” tackled every obstacle with the same steadfast dedication.
His most significant contribution, however, came when the brigade faced a seemingly insurmountable barrier. With his innate understanding of efficiency and order, Richard ingeniously utilized the principles of the simple wedge, devising a strategy to overcome the obstacle that was both elegant in its simplicity and effective in its execution.
As the Mock Brigade emerged victorious from the labyrinth, the respect for “WEDGE” grew immensely. He was not just seen as a man who could carry out the toughest tasks without complaint but as the cornerstone of the brigade’s success. His call sign “WEDGE” became a symbol of dependability, an assurance that no matter how complex the challenge, Richard Carrizales had the strength and the acumen to see it through.
In the annals of Jestlandia, “WEDGE” stood not just for a simple tool, but for the indomitable spirit of a man who could be counted on in any situation, a true embodiment of strength, discipline, and unwavering commitment.
Brandon G. aka "FIG JAM"
The Adventures of "FIG JAM"
Brandon “FIG JAM” Griffin was a vibrant, if somewhat overconfident, young soul in the Mock Brigade of Jestlandia. His call sign, an acronym for “F*ck I’m Good, Just Ask Me,” was both a playful jab at his self-assured nature and a nod to his unshakable confidence, which was as endearing as it was premature.
Brandon’s story is one of eagerness and determination, mixed with a dash of youthful naivety. In a brigade filled with unique characters, he was the enthusiastic young apprentice, always ready to jump into the fray, convinced of his abilities, but often lacking the finesse and experience of his more seasoned comrades.
The tale of “FIG JAM” became particularly memorable during the whimsical ‘Misfit Toy Maneuvers,’ a mock operation designed to test the adaptability and creativity of the brigade. Brandon, eager to showcase his skills in cerakote, gunsmithing, and laser work, volunteered for a critical role in the operation, much to the amusement and slight apprehension of his peers.
True to his call sign, Brandon approached the task with his characteristic bravado. He was tasked with customizing the brigade’s equipment for the operation, a job that required both technical skill and artistic flair. In his zeal, Brandon’s initial attempts were a mix of bold designs and enthusiastic, yet unrefined craftsmanship – from vibrantly cerakoted armor that stood out a little too much to laser engravings that were more enthusiastic than elegant.
However, as the operation progressed, the young “FIG JAM” began to find his rhythm. His rough edges slowly smoothed out as he took cues from his fellow soldiers, learning to temper his confidence with patience and attention to detail. By the end of the maneuvers, Brandon had not only contributed significantly to the brigade’s success but had also grown as a craftsman and a team player.
The story of “FIG JAM” is a tale of youthful exuberance, a journey of learning and growth. In Jestlandia, he was the misfit toy who, through trial and error, found his place among the ranks, proving that with a little guidance and a lot of heart, even the most confident of young souls could evolve into a solid and valuable member of the team. His call sign, once a humorous reminder of his overconfidence, became a badge of his journey towards becoming a skilled and respected member of the Mock Brigade.
Bishop O. aka " DIRTY Q"
The Chronicle of "DIRTY Q"
The Chronicle of “DIRTY Q”
Bishop “DIRTY Q” Ortiz was a distinctive figure in Jestlandia, known for his long, curly hair reminiscent of an old dirty Q-tip. His story is one of persistence and unexpected talent, a journey from an eager outsider to a crucial member of the Mock Brigade.
“DIRTY Q” began as the Chester to Jestlandia’s Spike – an overly enthusiastic supporter of the brigade, always on the periphery, eager to be part of the action. His presence was a constant, though often met with a figurative “Ahhh, Shut Up!” from the more seasoned members. Yet, Bishop’s enthusiasm and persistence never waned; he was determined to find his place among the ranks.
His turning point came during the grand ‘Forge and Furnace Festival,’ an event where the brigade showcased their arms and armor, many of which were due for upgrades and refinements. It was here that “DIRTY Q’s” hidden talents came to light. His keen eye for design and skill in manufacturing were discovered almost by accident, as he offered to help repair a set of ornate armor that had been damaged during a mock skirmish.
To the surprise of everyone, Bishop’s work was not just adequate; it was exceptional. His designs were innovative, blending functionality with aesthetic appeal, and his craftsmanship was of a quality that rivaled even the most experienced artisans in Jestlandia. The brigade’s initial amusement at his unkempt appearance and persistent nature turned into admiration and respect for his unexpected skills.
From then on, “DIRTY Q” was no longer an outsider. He became the chief designer and manufacturer of the brigade’s arms and armors, an indispensable part of the team. His workshop became a hub of creativity and craftsmanship, where each piece of equipment was a testament to his talent and dedication.
The story of Bishop “DIRTY Q” Ortiz is a tale of perseverance and hidden potential. In Jestlandia, he was a reminder that sometimes the most unlikely individuals can harbor the greatest talents, and that persistence, coupled with passion, can lead to a place where one truly belongs. His call sign “DIRTY Q” became a symbol of his journey – from an enthusiastic outsider to a master craftsman, an integral part of the Mock Brigade’s heart and soul.
John H. aka "HIGHLANDER"
The Emergence of "Highlander"
The Emergence of “Highlander”:
“Highlander” ventured into Jestlandia, bringing with him a wealth of expertise as a seasoned gunsmith, ready to infuse Team Underground with his deep knowledge and craft. From the moment he joined, it was clear that “Highlander” was no ordinary recruit. His hands, skilled from years of perfecting the art of gunsmithing, promised to elevate the team’s capabilities to new heights, offering both innovation and tradition in the care and customization of firearms.
John “Red” Havens’ arrival came at a time when Team Underground was seeking to deepen their expertise and expand their services, making his timing impeccable and his presence invaluable. “Highlander’s” knowledge was not confined to the workbench; it extended into the ethos of Team Underground, where education, safety, and community intertwine.
“Highlander’s” Contribution to the Team:
With a friendly demeanor and an approachable wisdom, “Highlander” quickly became a cornerstone of the team. His contributions went beyond the gunsmith’s bench, touching every aspect of Texas Underground Armory’s mission. Whether guiding a first-time buyer through the intricacies of firearm selection or leading advanced workshops at the Bravo Training Academy, “Highlander” shared his knowledge generously, strengthening the bonds of the community and enhancing the collective expertise of Team Underground.
His presence brought a renewed sense of excitement and possibility to the armory, reminding both the team and their patrons of the joy and pride found in craftsmanship and mastery. “Highlander’s” passion for his work and his commitment to excellence resonated throughout Jestlandia, inspiring those around him to pursue their interests with vigor and dedication.
A New Era for Team Underground:
With “Highlander” as part of their ranks, Team Underground stood ready to face the future with confidence and enthusiasm. His arrival marked the beginning of a new era, one where the fusion of tradition and innovation would lead the way. The community of Jestlandia, with its diverse members united by a common passion, found in “Highlander” a symbol of their ongoing quest for excellence, education, and empowerment.
In the story of Team Underground, “Highlander” is a beacon of knowledge and skill, embodying the spirit of camaraderie and the pursuit of excellence that defines the team. As Jestlandia continues to thrive, the legend of “Highlander” will be woven into its rich tapestry, exemplifying the timeless values and shared aspirations of this unique community.